A Rare Internship Opportunity

Talk to anybody about internships and they'll tell you the same thing: there are plenty of good internships out there where you can do more than just sit around making copies or bringing people coffee.

But here's what they won't tell you: there are surprisingly few internships where you actually get to sit around making copies and bringing people coffee. I don't know about you, but that's pretty much the ideal internship for me. You get paid to just...well, you know, sit around making copies and bringing people coffee. Have you ever made a copy? Have you ever brought someone coffee? If so, you know how easy it is. If you haven't, just think about it. Does it seem hard? Trust your instincts, it's not hard at all. And for those of you who have done those things, you probably didn't get paid for it, right? Well, now all that can change.

Anyone interested in interning for me--you'll just be making copies and bringing me coffee--can post their application below. Wages are negotiable, unless you're a terrorist, because I don't negotiate with terrorists*.

*All terrorists will make 7.75 an hour. End of story.

Top Five Hottest Recently Deceased Women

Nothing's hotter than an unattainable beauty, am I right? And what's more unattainable than a woman beyond the grave? Think these chicks are out of your league? Guess again, pal! They're out of your WORLD! Below is a list of the five hottest* chicks who died within the past ~10 years (no more than 15 years).

*Each entry was assessed according to her hotness in the months or few years before her death. Additional preference is given to those candidates who died most recently.

5. Anna Nicole Smith: Okay, so she was hotter in her younger years, but let's face it, none of the women on this list are exactly in their prime now.

4. Margaux Hemingway: English majors ought to know where this hot lady got her looks from... and her suicidal tendencies. I guess she had a pretty literal reading of The Importance of Being Ernest.

3. Dana Plato: Diff'rent Strokes babe. Not extremely hot, but she did some nice "softcore" stuff.

2. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes: A little TLC never killed anyone...except her.

1. Aaliyah: This girl was Hot as Fire. I mean seriously, what were the chances of her dying in that aeroplane? A Million in One? And she had so many years of hotness ahead of her, you know? She was only 22. But hey, Age Ain't Nothing But a Number, am I right?

See any omissions or errors? Think this should be a top ten list? Tell me.

I mean, over 100,000 people have seen this and agreed with me, but you feel free to do what you want.

You Hit It, You Get It

I was born on November 29, 1986, but my life didn't start until this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZkjEp4Zubw

Everything you'll ever read here somehow comes from this.